Surprises abound

She wants my head between her legs. Or someone's head. Didn't know she was like that or even open to that. Makes me wonder more and more. It's funny, because I have never thought of her sexually. Sexy, maybe, but not to point where I have her bent over screaming my name, clawing at me, or even at one with me. Shame to it all. I know that I am not the average male.

I wonder what part of her I will grow to love, if I don't already. What will be my favorite piece of her? What will I love to parttake in? What will she love for me to partake in? I wonder. All is a blur. Dreams, thoughts, and predictions race onward. Have to buckle down and suppress them. Shame.

It's funny that today was our first day of sexual verbal jolts. I would never have guessed in a million years, especially since, I am usually accosted by whomever, when it comes to sexual dealings. I am not a normal guy. For that, I am thankful.

Now, she has got me thinking. That can't be good. For, the mind is where everything, good or bad, starts. I feel dirty, or maybe not quite clean. May have to be careful about being near her. May not be a problem since there about 50+ miles between us. And I'm not just talking about verbal walls. Good grief. I may have to make some new rules(like never travel to Topeka, never be alone with her, or maybe to never think about her). If only Charlie Brown would have laid out issues like this. Hmmmmmmmmmm.

So, what am I to do? Let her be? Let me be? Or drink her like that Champagne I had the other day? That left a unique taste in my mouth. Or maybe this is wakeup call. Cause, I'm not supposed to be drinking. Ha.

Death Comes to All that Wait.

We all die sooner or later. Some of us just haven't realized it yet. It's funny, while you are up there bumpin' yo gums, you don't understand that I have already seen Death. Me and Her kicked it a time or two. She was beautiful. So pretty that I couldn't look away. I had wished for her during many times during my childhood. She came right before I was a teen. She explained to me that I had a choice to make. If I wanted to, I could be at peace. I chose not to swallow. I absorbed the pain. I can still taste it. Can you?

The girl who never was again.

I may have to stop listening to a certain someone. Almost made my bridge of communication collapse with a certain someone else. I wonder. What do people think? Why do they think that way? What makes one person's mind say the things that they say? The girl who never was took offense to something that this someone said, so I am kind of ajar right now and falling.

What Goes Around

Or so the saying goes. The world is always spinning. I wonder what every other person in this world is doing at this moment. Hope they are enjoying life. It snowed here last night. Nothing like snow to help clean the city. Causes some damages, but also makes people act right, if only for one night.

Saw Brandi with her pretty self. I wonder how fine she is. She is always delightful to be around. Too bad about her status. I wonder. She has some pretty friends also, though I am not into white girls. Shame. Next time I see her, I will have to............................

They say that Chocolate releases the same chemicals as some good sex!

I really disagree. I think nothing(not even a vibrator) can replace a good dicking, licking, or picking. Making love to comeone has to be the most emotional thing in this world, other than having kids and killing a man. I wonder. Life and death are so tied together, why do people take them so lightly?

I'm off the myspace for a while. Trying to see if I can make it a week without going into that social abyss. I have done it before, but I have been getting caught in it deep lately. So I am challenging myself. Trying to get to a new level. I am sure that I can do it. But for how long? Am I that dependent on it. Does my day revolve around it. Yesterday, I found myself staring at the clock, wondering how fast the week was going to go by. Shame.

Also have been off of the pop for a few days now. It's easier than the myspace thing. Trying to stay away from the snacking also. Lose weight fat boy. Come on, you can do it. Ha. I am seeing progress on all fronts. It can't be that bad. Pray for me.

Do you dislike me Adrian?

Dislike is a strong word. It means so many things and so little at the same time. You need specifics. Where is the question coming from. Why? And what will it gain or lose by answering it. Dislike is a strong word. It can be bad or good. It can range from simple to utter. Life is too short to have to guess. I need an answer so that you can get an answer.

Erasing People

Sometimes people do the unspeakable. They betray your trust. So you have to erase them. So I erased someone and they want back in. It's a shame. they just don't understand. They had their chance. they just didn't listen. Now they are paying the price. I wonder what will become of it.

How do you?????????

Tell someone that you want to get to know them better. The constant hellos and how are you doings are getting monotonous. You have to just dive in and try to make something happen. Friendship is such a bitch.