Incognegro Part 1.

Haven't been on here in a very long time. Things have been non stop hectic. I have so much to share.

THIS BLOG

Has moved to http://www.melodramatic.com/users/drfeelrealgood

Whatever Dude

I wonder about people sometimes. Why do you act like you are so much better than you are? Like you can't show me what you have already showed me? Why act so brand new? You aren't who you think you are? Other than lonely, and those physical things that I know that you will do nothing about, but that you complain about constantly.

Tell me, how do I not know you? Since I met you, how have you changed? You still talk about, complain about, and wish for the same damn things. Nothing is different. Other than the word evolving around you. Tell me more. Tell me different. Tell me that you are not who you have portrayed yourself to be. I know. I told you that a long time ago. You are the one who is trying to prove it. It's ok. I still don't believe you.


Maybe you will wake up. Before it's too late you and the world swallows you up. You still have time. Maybe you are destined to be a lost sheep like some parental figures that will remain nameless. Maybe you should participate in a cult? Or a band? Or use those you know whats to make some more money? I am sure you will make lots of it. Too bad money doesn't thrill you. Too bad I don't thrill you. I know how to make you cum. I know how to make you come. Your bday is coming up. I wonder what I should get you. I wonder what you want. Since I don't know you and all, maybe I should surprise you? Maybe I should wrap up my youknowwhat and give it to you hard, and make you use it. You will love it. You will like it. You haven't used it in such a long time. You haven't had it in a much longer time. I am sure you will be happy. Ask for it and it shall come. Whatever, dude.

Graduation

It's funny how people change, but remain the same. I was talking to you today and you didn't seem to display what you claim you possess. It's ok, I will work on you yet.

Now, to the nitty gritty. Did you learn anything? Are you enlightened? Have you grown? What makes you so sure? Sure you are not a child, masquerading as an adult? Guess that's better than an adult masquerading as child. Whichever. Anywho, are you deserving? Can I give you my all? Or will you just waste it and give it to those who claim to need it?

Are you educated? I am sure you think you are, but did you specialize in anything. Yes, you may be good in a little of this or a little of that; but what can you expertly produce? What can you, do? What makes you special? You think you know the answer, but you haven't the slightest clue. You are undone, because you are undoing. You are not solid, stable, or even consistent. What makes it worst is that you have the capacity to be! What changed in you? Did you lose sight of yourself somehow? Did you wish upon a star? Why deprive yourself of the greatness before you, based on a technicality? Why not just give in? Bask in the art of giving? Give with rules, reservations, or the need to receive? Can you do it? Are you in the right mind-set to make it happen? Are you ready for this Honor's Course so that you can really graduate Magna Cum Laude?

The Update!

Don't I know what? That you are vain? That you love attention? Attention whore is an understatement. How are you more than willing, if we have not met in the middle? Maybe you don't know where the middle is? Maybe you are not as willing as you believe you are. Conquer you? Why would I want to do that? And have me? Are you worthy of that? What four little words? There is no such thing as a little word. I am always serious. And we are way past waiting for you to be honest.

So, People Are Staring Huh?

I wonder why? You seem to be normal. You are quite smart. You are very attractive. Maybe, it's your aura? Maybe, it's your Sun-Sign? Something about you makes people want to talk about you(in good ways and bad). Some of those people want to be you. Some of those people want to fuck you. It's obvious why people want to fuck you. Do you know why? I think you do. I think you know and I think that you secretly love the attention. You love the envy. You love the let-me-fuck-you-hard/up stares. It's not your ego talking is it? Or maybe it's your id? Nah, if it was your id, then you would act on your impulses. Wait, you do act on your impulses. I am sure that there are secrets that you keep, because you don't want to spoil your "so-called image". It's alright. I know who you are. I have known you for a long time. It's funny: I WANT TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER. But I can't, you won't let me. The simple things I need you to do to prove to me that you are sincere, you don't or can't do. It's okay. Keep being you. One day you will look back and wish you had indulged me. I know, that sounds crazy, but maybe we both are. Maybe you should call me up and see me sometime? Maybe you should let me conquer you. You would be so much better for it. You wouldn't be destined to be alone. You can change your future right now. You don't have power, or enough control, but you can guide the process to getting better. All, you have to do is say 4 little words: YES, WHATEVER, YOU WANT! There, was that so hard? Are you bleeding because of that? Did that make you sad? Maybe you should take this moment to do something worthwhile. The year is almost up. You haven't let loose yet. You have a few weeks to break off the beaten path. I am waiting for your call/message. You know you want me. Just be honest. Tell me what you will allow me to do to and for you. -YE

See U In My Nightmares

The only backpedaling I do is when I play football. I was quite good at it too. I'm not one to lie. I have been burned a time or too. Sometimes, when you are in man-to-man coverage, you have to have a cushion of space between you and the person you are guarding. It's hard running backwards. It's even harder when you are running backwards at full speed. It's harder still when you are running backwards at full speed and trying to make sure you are not defeated.

It's been a year. Or more. Being a Scorpio is not easy. It's a gift and a curse. One thing though is, we never forget a kindness or an injury(even when it's imagined). being me is even harder. I remember the first time my heart was broken. I remember the downward spiral that followed. I won't go back down that road. Ever. Just because you do what you think you do doesn't mean that it was actually done. Just because you say the things you have said and continue to say doesn't mean it's true. Using manipulation will not detour me. I have faced more horrors than you engaging in someone else or not talking to me or anything you can think will affect me. This is why you call me heartless. Or Cold. Evil, even. I may be. Maybe you are angry because I don't give you what you seek. Maybe you are selfish and don't know it yet. You are young(ish). You will learn. Maybe I've lost you as a friend, love interest, picture trader, or confidant. I don't know that, but I know a lot of things. I know why we would never work. You are not fully capable of even defrosting me a bit, yet you blame me because your heat isn't good enough. It's ok. Find love somewhere else. I haven't lost a thing. You have, and you will remember it for the rest of your soul's existence. It's been a year, or more, yet I thought of you today. Karma is on my side. I will not backpedal for you, because you are not worth me guarding.